








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 552 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 744 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5099 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 34,802 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7236 | 21% |
| Smokes | 9280 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 12658 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 5628 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,664,020 of utility $97 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 521 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The_Tiger | 16 | 0.0013 |
| #2 | PhoenixC6 | 16 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | Samurai_Pat 2.0 | 5 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | Sels de Gruissan | 2 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | Fleur de Sel | 2 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PhoenixC6 | 734 | 0.12 | 17 min |
| #2 | Miserey | 603 | 0.30 | 12 min |
| #3 | Samurai_Pat 2.0 | 341 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #4 | Sels de Gruissan | 264 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #5 | The_Tiger | 206 | 0.02 | 6 min |





