








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 343 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 507 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 54 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




32 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6131 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,875 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4304 | 22% |
| Smokes | 5555 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 5612 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 4404 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,608,360 of utility $125 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 108 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Wildeboa NL | 51% | 296 |
| #8 | Captain_Jackie | 49% | 53 |
| #9 | Sjannie | 49% | 242 |
| #10 | .Toasted | Woman. | 45% | 334 |
| #11 | lil Kingindia | 43% | 151 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | .Toasted | Woman. | 9 | 0.0013 |
| #2 | Wildeboa NL | 9 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | lil Kingindia | 9 | 0.0029 |
| #4 | My LiTtEl DoRa | 8 | 0.0092 |
| #5 | Sjannie | 6 | 0.0012 |





