








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 349 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 75 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1234 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,875 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 72 | 4% |
| Smokes | 701 | 37% |
| HE Grenades | 425 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 677 | 36% |
Our logs show you have wasted $470,567 of utility $173 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 24 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | viedy | 63% | 16 |
| #2 | Rare Fridgegirl | 57% | 21 |
| #3 | djulz1 | 56% | 9 |
| #4 | zwiegespalten | 50% | 10 |
| #5 | travellinman | 47% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | viedy | 2 | 0.0058 |
| #2 | KETAMIN | 1 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | Rare Fridgegirl | 1 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | travellinman | 1 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | travellinman | 23 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #2 | KETAMIN | 21 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #3 | djulz1 | 14 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| #4 | ⎛⎝「✠ Creemy」⎠⎞ | 10 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| #5 | viedy | 9 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sir von Schlepphoden | +2.88 | 59 | 31 |
| #2 | Rare Fridgegirl | +2.56 | 62 | 39 |
| #3 | djulz1 | +1.20 | 76 | 62 |
| #4 | travellinman | +1.07 | 33 | 75 |
| #5 | KETAMIN | +0.95 | 44 | 30 |





