








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 242 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 141 matches | ||
| Faceit | 88 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2526 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,094 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2680 | 27% |
| Smokes | 2563 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2875 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1976 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $827,468 of utility $133 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 303 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yuna | 57% | 23 |
| #2 | Jubbesti | 54% | 37 |
| #3 | § | 51% | 115 |
| #4 | nikkie | 49% | 96 |
| #5 | Ronkeli | 48% | 218 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Runkku | 46% | 78 |
| #8 | Cursedox | 46% | 98 |
| #9 | sadistimoke | 44% | 82 |
| #10 | ruis antero | 42% | 26 |
| #11 | SpiidiPasanen | 24% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cursedox | 595 | 0.29 | 18 min |
| #2 | nikkie | 435 | 0.21 | 15 min |
| #3 | Ronkeli | 362 | 0.08 | 9 min |
| #4 | sadistimoke | 179 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #5 | § | 161 | 0.07 | 3 min |





