








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 140 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 76 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1381 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,848 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1551 | 32% |
| Smokes | 1311 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 975 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1011 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $493,707 of utility $191 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 81 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bimbamboom | 100% | 8 |
| #2 | kingfisher | 92% | 13 |
| #3 | flameZ♥M | 88% | 33 |
| #4 | Herbus doubledoor | 76% | 62 |
| #5 | googletranslator | 60% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | googletranslator | 60% | 10 |
| #6 | lights | 57% | 7 |
| #7 | Brooxsy | 50% | 12 |
| #8 | AZIDOT | 29% | 14 |
| #9 | KursySSJ4 | 22% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Herbus doubledoor | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #2 | bimbamboom | 1 | 0.0052 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Herbus doubledoor | 214 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #2 | flameZ♥M | 178 | 0.26 | 6 min |
| #3 | bimbamboom | 51 | 0.27 | 2 min |
| #4 | KursySSJ4 | 49 | 0.24 | 1 min |
| #5 | AZIDOT | 47 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Herbus doubledoor | +6.40 | 98 | 67 |
| #2 | flameZ♥M | +5.33 | 88 | 81 |
| #3 | kingfisher | +4.88 | 95 | 76 |
| #4 | bimbamboom | +3.02 | 95 | 58 |
| #5 | googletranslator | +2.37 | 90 | 64 |





