








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1578 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 1190 matches | ||
| Faceit | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 72 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




118 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
11735 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 39,424 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7415 | 19% |
| Smokes | 7849 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 13474 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 10686 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $5,122,233 of utility $192 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3479 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | D o Double G | 58% | 86 |
| #2 | Nani!? | 53% | 136 |
| #3 | pricc | 51% | 254 |
| #4 | lp | 51% | 491 |
| #5 | Ch0nkch0nk | 44% | 70 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | D o Double G | 58% | 86 |
| #2 | Nani!? | 53% | 136 |
| #3 | pricc | 51% | 254 |
| #4 | lp | 51% | 491 |
| #5 | Ch0nkch0nk | 44% | 70 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lp | 41 | 0.0039 |
| #2 | Nani!? | 7 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | pricc | 5 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | D o Double G | 5 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | Ch0nkch0nk | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lp | 701 | 0.07 | 16 min |
| #2 | Nani!? | 653 | 0.22 | 19 min |
| #3 | D o Double G | 214 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #4 | pricc | 159 | 0.03 | 3 min |
| #5 | Ch0nkch0nk | 103 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nani!? | +2.27 | 74 | 72 |
| #2 | lp | +0.14 | 68 | 59 |
| #3 | monkey d. ick | +0.08 | 53 | 60 |
| #4 | Ch0nkch0nk | -0.62 | 43 | 55 |
| #5 | pricc | -1.15 | 46 | 46 |





