








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 149 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 345 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2640 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,315 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5400 | 24% |
| Smokes | 6131 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 5634 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 5150 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $494,285 of utility $58 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 285 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Samio Deinstaling | 46% | 24 |
| #2 | Eddy Snoller | 46% | 178 |
| #3 | Pmarx ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ノ | 44% | 62 |
| #4 | Pumper CS | 42% | 38 |
| #5 | kratten | 35% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Samio Deinstaling | 46% | 24 |
| #2 | Eddy Snoller | 46% | 178 |
| #3 | Pmarx ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ノ | 44% | 62 |
| #4 | Pumper CS | 42% | 38 |
| #5 | kratten | 35% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Eddy Snoller | 13 | 0.0035 |
| #2 | Pmarx ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ノ | 2 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | Samio Deinstaling | 2 | 0.0042 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Eddy Snoller | 297 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #2 | Pmarx ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ノ | 44 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #3 | kratten | 33 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #4 | Pumper CS | 18 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| #5 | Samio Deinstaling | 16 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Samio Deinstaling | +2.22 | 68 | 53 |
| #2 | Pumper CS | +0.26 | 43 | 44 |
| #3 | kratten | -0.04 | 23 | 56 |
| #4 | Patient0.1 | -0.56 | 29 | 66 |
| #5 | Pmarx ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ノ | -0.72 | 33 | 48 |





