








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 32 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 21 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
216 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 849 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 185 | 22% |
| Smokes | 301 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 224 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 139 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $153,604 of utility $232 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 38 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cyrix ⭕⃤ | 100% | 2 |
| #2 | bjoggijako | 80% | 15 |
| #3 | Papanels | 69% | 16 |
| #4 | Big Tony | 67% | 15 |
| #5 | Hjbz* | 63% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | diddmau5 | 50% | 2 |
| #9 | Danzo | 50% | 2 |
| #10 | giorgio | 50% | 6 |
| #11 | Pat | 33% | 3 |
| #12 | Deeyv | 0% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hjbz* | 1 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | Papanels | 1 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hjbz* | 71 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #2 | Papanels | 61 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #3 | Big Tony | 33 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #4 | bjoggijako | 28 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #5 | error // Odinn | 22 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pat | +6.81 | 91 | 65 |
| #2 | Cyrix ⭕⃤ | +5.24 | 38 | 56 |
| #3 | Papanels | +3.19 | 59 | 78 |
| #4 | bjoggijako | +2.32 | 72 | 66 |
| #5 | Hjbz* | +2.17 | 68 | 74 |





