








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 129 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
340 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,223 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 307 | 25% |
| Smokes | 253 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 361 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 302 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $143,523 of utility $159 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 6 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| 50% | 6 | ||
| #10 | Barbossa | 45% | 11 |
| #11 | pZq | 43% | 14 |
| #12 | Skorpy' | 38% | 8 |
| #13 | -RimO- | 33% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cristiiiiii | 2 | 0.0062 |
| 2 | 0.0133 | ||
| 1 | 0.0042 | ||
| #4 | Golobot | 1 | 0.0074 |
| 1 | 0.0075 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cristiiiiii | 56 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #2 | pZq | 49 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| 42 | 0.18 | 1 min | ||
| 28 | 0.21 | 1 min | ||
| #5 | Skorpy' | 27 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| +7.53 | 70 | 68 | ||
| +2.86 | 91 | 55 | ||
| #3 | Sagvce | +2.81 | 89 | 67 |
| #4 | Cristiiiiii | +2.19 | 66 | 66 |
| +0.98 | 26 | 59 |





