








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 64 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 87 matches | ||
| Faceit | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2017 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,385 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1453 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1927 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 656 | 12% |
| Molotovs | 1349 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $329,762 of utility $96 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 15 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Papocheo | 67% | 12 |
| #2 | FRANCISCO4 | 67% | 18 |
| #3 | necotheone | 63% | 65 |
| #4 | (B.O.N.K)Diamond Noob | 57% | 101 |
| #5 | El alcohol milenario | 56% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | El alcohol milenario | 56% | 25 |
| #6 | BOT Meu | 56% | 9 |
| #7 | Destri | 50% | 12 |
| #8 | KHAOS | 48% | 29 |
| #9 | Nervolance | 43% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | (B.O.N.K)Diamond Noob | 4 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | necotheone | 4 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | KHAOS | 2 | 0.0037 |
| #4 | Nervolance | 1 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | Papocheo | 1 | 0.0036 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | (B.O.N.K)Diamond Noob | 242 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #2 | necotheone | 222 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #3 | FRANCISCO4 | 88 | 0.22 | 2 min |
| #4 | Nervolance | 70 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #5 | KHAOS | 43 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | (B.O.N.K)Diamond Noob | +3.86 | 79 | 63 |
| #2 | cv_nash | +3.51 | 87 | 59 |
| #3 | necotheone | -1.16 | 57 | 67 |
| #4 | Destri | -1.49 | 42 | 70 |
| #5 | Papocheo | -2.81 | 28 | 59 |





