








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1 achievement has been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 98 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1650 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,441 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1814 | 33% |
| Smokes | 1356 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1137 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1134 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $204,029 of utility $72 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HenninG! | 80% | 10 |
| #2 | topholt | 67% | 15 |
| #3 | Damkjaer | 56% | 9 |
| #4 | ߷ Sallander-»Whocares.«- | 50% | 30 |
| #5 | Naelex^^^^^^^^^^ | 48% | 85 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | topholt | 71 | 0.22 | 2 min |
| #2 | ߷ Sallander-»Whocares.«- | 61 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #3 | Naelex^^^^^^^^^^ | 60 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #4 | HenninG! | 23 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #5 | Damkjaer | 20 | 0.11 | 0 min |





