








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 80 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Inferno | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Premier | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
695 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,679 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 503 | 19% |
| Smokes | 673 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 852 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 651 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $229,994 of utility $172 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 21 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xiVe | 75% | 4 |
| #2 | pepps? | 54% | 26 |
| #3 | aimBAMkJEEEEÉ | 50% | 10 |
| #4 | Mr_KT24 | 38% | 8 |
| #5 | STFN - never forget | 35% | 62 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | RelaX' | 31% | 13 |
| #10 | Di-Oh | 28% | 18 |
| #11 | SuperGrobi | 27% | 22 |
| #12 | JAFFERS0N ᵔᴥᵔ | 20% | 5 |
| #13 | Summi13 | 17% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | STFN - never forget | 7 | 0.0071 |
| #2 | Mr_KT24 | 2 | 0.0120 |
| #3 | Elmo | 1 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | Di-Oh | 1 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | SuperGrobi | 1 | 0.0036 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | STFN - never forget | 217 | 0.22 | 5 min |
| #2 | Elmo | 62 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #3 | Di-Oh | 36 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #4 | Vanion | 26 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #5 | pepps? | 25 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pepps? | +3.45 | 89 | 74 |
| #2 | STFN - never forget | +2.50 | 82 | 75 |
| #3 | JAFFERS0N ᵔᴥᵔ | +2.45 | 82 | 60 |
| #4 | Elmo | +0.69 | 76 | 78 |
| #5 | aimBAMkJEEEEÉ | +0.10 | 55 | 57 |





