








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 41 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 6 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
345 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,153 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 334 | 29% |
| Smokes | 336 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 242 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 241 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $108,836 of utility $147 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 6 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | william:P | 100% | 2 |
| #2 | Jadi jade | 75% | 4 |
| #3 | åäö?`otto | 75% | 4 |
| #4 | Wesku | 67% | 3 |
| #5 | allubert | 67% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jordi El Niño Polla | 1 | 0.0034 |
| #2 | Wesku | 1 | 0.0200 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | petermans1 >:-D | +4.41 | 66 | 67 |
| #2 | Tyyben | +3.82 | 78 | 59 |
| #3 | RZE | +3.24 | 81 | 78 |
| #4 | allubert | +2.77 | 78 | 24 |
| #5 | skari | +2.75 | 74 | 65 |





