








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 978 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 128 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 30 matches | ||
| Faceit | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 42 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3236 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,490 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4068 | 28% |
| Smokes | 3596 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 3544 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 3282 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $491,716 of utility $77 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 175 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | アルカード - Alucard (Akta) | 56% | 70 |
| #2 | Akai' | 55% | 194 |
| #3 | dryk | 53% | 90 |
| #4 | Le_T | 53% | 77 |
| #5 | minigE- | 52% | 128 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Akai' | 9 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | KADOZER | 3 | 0.0049 |
| #3 | pi | 3 | 0.0077 |
| #4 | dryk | 2 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | Le_T | 2 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Akai' | 1015 | 0.25 | 28 min |
| #2 | minigE- | 467 | 0.18 | 12 min |
| #3 | dryk | 319 | 0.17 | 8 min |
| #4 | Le_T | 151 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #5 | アルカード - Alucard (Akta) | 106 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KADOZER | +3.82 | 90 | 67 |
| #2 | gen2k | +1.24 | 64 | 68 |
| #3 | minigE- | +1.05 | 60 | 71 |
| #4 | Akai' | +0.76 | 72 | 67 |
| #5 | Le_T | -0.27 | 67 | 55 |





