










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 8 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 6 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
349 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 296 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 14 | 5% |
| Smokes | 33 | 11% |
| HE Grenades | 124 | 42% |
| Molotovs | 125 | 42% |
Our logs show you have wasted $110,758 of utility $98 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 39 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Eddie | 43% | 49 |
| #2 | ⭕⃤ z0n3x | 41% | 51 |
| #3 | J. "BeZzy" Korsgaard | 40% | 53 |
| #4 | Papand | 39% | 49 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Eddie | 43% | 49 |
| #2 | ⭕⃤ z0n3x | 41% | 51 |
| #3 | J. "BeZzy" Korsgaard | 40% | 53 |
| #4 | Papand | 39% | 49 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ⭕⃤ z0n3x | 2 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | Papand | 2 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | J. "BeZzy" Korsgaard | 82 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #2 | Eddie | 79 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #3 | ⭕⃤ z0n3x | 76 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #4 | Papand | 71 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Papand | +3.43 | 60 | 68 |
| #2 | ⭕⃤ z0n3x | +1.43 | 64 | 68 |
| #3 | Bondo | -0.83 | 41 | 11 |
| #4 | J. "BeZzy" Korsgaard | -3.22 | 37 | 71 |
| #5 | Eddie | -3.24 | 19 | 67 |





