








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 41 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1363 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,893 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 914 | 23% |
| Smokes | 1329 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 768 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 882 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $366,295 of utility $133 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 13 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Plort | 71% | 14 |
| #2 | Cappa | 65% | 51 |
| #3 | Tzaark | 63% | 30 |
| #4 | PAPITO | 60% | 80 |
| #5 | Lion|s (ノ≧∀≦)ノ | 59% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Cappa | 65% | 51 |
| #3 | Tzaark | 63% | 30 |
| #4 | PAPITO | 60% | 80 |
| #5 | Lion|s (ノ≧∀≦)ノ | 59% | 32 |
| #6 | ZORT | 57% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PAPITO | 11 | 0.0070 |
| #2 | ZORT | 7 | 0.0088 |
| #3 | Cappa | 3 | 0.0030 |
| #4 | Lion|s (ノ≧∀≦)ノ | 3 | 0.0048 |
| #5 | Tzaark | 3 | 0.0051 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PAPITO | 251 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #2 | Cappa | 75 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #3 | ZORT | 63 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #4 | Plort | 33 | 0.12 | 0 min |
| #5 | Tzaark | 32 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cappa | +3.00 | 71 | 62 |
| #2 | Plort | +1.87 | 65 | 56 |
| #3 | Quantix | +1.68 | 80 | 62 |
| #4 | PAPITO | +1.35 | 68 | 71 |
| #5 | Tzaark | +0.54 | 62 | 47 |





