








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 131 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 255 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2979 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,710 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4349 | 32% |
| Smokes | 4062 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 2210 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 3089 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $446,709 of utility $75 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 200 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | a^ | 73% | 15 |
| #2 | mang0 | 71% | 14 |
| #3 | dytram | 59% | 22 |
| #4 | BootyFlakes | 56% | 43 |
| #5 | Thungus | 55% | 88 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | 2mas | 54% | 24 |
| #7 | glxy♥ | 53% | 139 |
| #8 | | 48% | 54 |
| #9 | Pinhead Larry | 48% | 94 |
| #10 | Galact | 47% | 70 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | glxy♥ | 5 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | Galact | 3 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | Pinhead Larry | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | | 2 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | BootyFlakes | 2 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | glxy♥ | 450 | 0.15 | 10 min |
| #2 | Galact | 402 | 0.27 | 8 min |
| #3 | Pinhead Larry | 394 | 0.20 | 8 min |
| #4 | Thungus | 314 | 0.17 | 8 min |
| #5 | | 205 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mang0 | +3.63 | 91 | 60 |
| #2 | dytram | +1.23 | 91 | 42 |
| #3 | glxy♥ | +1.01 | 91 | 62 |
| #4 | BootyFlakes | +1.00 | 85 | 58 |
| #5 | Pinhead Larry | +0.79 | 88 | 60 |





