








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 94 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
867 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,522 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 372 | 8% |
| Smokes | 1706 | 38% |
| HE Grenades | 1318 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1126 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $132,645 of utility $49 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 70 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | KP Johnson | 36% | 11 |
| #8 | Repa | 36% | 28 |
| #9 | Peperinho | 32% | 72 |
| #10 | Ale | 30% | 10 |
| #11 | [ «Tixksi«] | 29% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Juggernauter | 5 | 0.0044 |
| #2 | zamulinho | 4 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | Ale | 4 | 0.0172 |
| #4 | Peperinho | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | MacGyver | 2 | 0.0019 |





