








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 148 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 302 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3051 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,056 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3540 | 27% |
| Smokes | 3390 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 3220 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2906 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,146,546 of utility $148 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 200 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Patrick Bateman | 63% | 38 |
| #2 | pelicanbb | 60% | 97 |
| #3 | shifty00hh | 60% | 72 |
| #4 | ✪ dawsN | 56% | 117 |
| #5 | RAVE | 53% | 179 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lenidude | 7 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | ✪ dawsN | 6 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | RAVE | 4 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | pelicanbb | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | shifty00hh | 2 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RAVE | 697 | 0.18 | 20 min |
| #2 | pelicanbb | 181 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #3 | Lenidude | 180 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #4 | ✪ dawsN | 122 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #5 | shifty00hh | 103 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pelicanbb | +2.07 | 47 | 62 |
| #2 | Lenidude | +1.64 | 72 | 58 |
| #3 | shifty00hh | +1.63 | 61 | 74 |
| #4 | Kuhaku | +1.16 | 59 | 49 |
| #5 | Patrick Bateman | -0.20 | 31 | 46 |





