








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1382 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 1007 matches | ||
| Faceit | 194 matches | ||
| Renown | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 116 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
12933 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 51,111 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 13396 | 26% |
| Smokes | 11986 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 13720 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 12009 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,657,276 of utility $129 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 205 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | "SW1Ss.17" | 46% | 112 |
| #7 | ALINFCP | 44% | 77 |
| #8 | burak | 44% | 116 |
| #9 | ♿ Babalâcul ♿ | 42% | 193 |
| #10 | PerfectDark | 38% | 102 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sCs | 16 | 0.0010 |
| #2 | ♿ Babalâcul ♿ | 13 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | Jonica | 9 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | ♎ iP | 9 | 0.0038 |
| #5 | burak | 4 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♿ Babalâcul ♿ | 791 | 0.19 | 19 min |
| #2 | sCs | 459 | 0.03 | 15 min |
| #3 | "SW1Ss.17" | 316 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #4 | ALINFCP | 253 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #5 | Jonica | 235 | 0.06 | 6 min |





