








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 297 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 116 matches | ||
| Faceit | 84 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1917 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,444 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 990 | 13% |
| Smokes | 2112 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2532 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 1810 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $831,540 of utility $162 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 186 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Uηfc𐤊ωitђα₿le | 247 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #2 | Crixalix | 178 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #3 | Seriously | 175 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #4 | skakin | 167 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #5 | F1ShErMaN | 142 | 0.09 | 3 min |





