










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 48 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 73 matches | ||
| Premier | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
1067 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,652 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1000 | 21% |
| Smokes | 1720 | 37% |
| HE Grenades | 593 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 1339 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $421,199 of utility $137 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1 message into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | My Little Tupsu | 61% | 23 |
| #2 | Mamba | 60% | 91 |
| #3 | kalski | 60% | 10 |
| #4 | DOP | 60% | 47 |
| #5 | soijaB | 58% | 73 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DOP | 250 | 0.26 | 7 min |
| #2 | soijaB | 133 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #3 | Mamba | 115 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #4 | Eustace | 111 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #5 | Carry Grandi | 89 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kalski | +6.17 | 66 | 67 |
| #2 | Mamba | +5.14 | 80 | 63 |
| #3 | Eustace | +1.77 | 63 | 66 |
| #4 | juu5owtf | +1.34 | 69 | 61 |
| #5 | Carry Grandi | +1.18 | 70 | 64 |





