








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 16 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 63 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 25 matches | ||
| Wingman | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1170 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,982 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 401 | 6% |
| Smokes | 2122 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 2633 | 38% |
| Molotovs | 1826 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $202,400 of utility $47 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Toxic | 117 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #2 | Moep.Plankentanz^ | 63 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #3 | PAiN | 35 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #4 | ✪ alx | 20 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #5 | Moep.VIK^[upkc] | 17 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ alx | +9.66 | 75 | 79 |
| #2 | PAiN | +2.53 | 52 | 44 |
| #3 | Moep.VIK^[upkc] | +2.23 | 43 | 45 |
| #4 | Moep.Stonie^ | +1.73 | 22 | 54 |
| #5 | Toxic | +1.24 | 34 | 57 |





