








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1375 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 930 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 80 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 12 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Faceit | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 163 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




39 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
11196 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 31,184 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3273 | 10% |
| Smokes | 13443 | 43% |
| HE Grenades | 9564 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 4904 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,915,614 of utility $74 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2809 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | denn1s | 24 | 0.0037 |
| #2 | Cloudchaser | 11 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | Hope | 7 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | N1CE | 6 | 0.0043 |
| #5 | SturmStift | 5 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | denn1s | 949 | 0.15 | 24 min |
| #2 | *+#BENEDICTION | 259 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #3 | SturmStift | 246 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #4 | Cloudchaser | 239 | 0.05 | 6 min |
| #5 | unbreak | 182 | 0.07 | 4 min |





