








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 988 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 928 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 151 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9390 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,463 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6910 | 32% |
| Smokes | 5270 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 7714 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 1569 | 7% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,174,652 of utility $152 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 927 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | P90 HERO | 59% | 58 |
| #2 | ♛ NEmes!s | 55% | 76 |
| #3 | zMadMAN | 51% | 111 |
| #4 | 2iq | 45% | 84 |
| #5 | ZERO | 45% | 67 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♛ NEmes!s | +4.85 | 83 | 72 |
| #2 | RafskE | +4.30 | 82 | 72 |
| #3 | Москва | +0.66 | 50 | 54 |
| #4 | P90 HERO | -0.03 | 42 | 70 |
| #5 | 2iq | -0.11 | 54 | 66 |





