








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1172 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 88 matches | ||
| Premier | 74 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 61 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5935 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,198 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2996 | 23% |
| Smokes | 3284 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 3948 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 2970 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,548,070 of utility $147 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 767 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sixma | 641 | 0.15 | 14 min |
| #2 | mΩnstie | 535 | 0.10 | 14 min |
| #3 | Treez | 457 | 0.10 | 10 min |
| #4 | Dioji | 106 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #5 | Dumplings | 101 | 0.14 | 3 min |





