








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 987 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 619 matches | ||
| Wingman | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 76 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8417 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 26,262 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8171 | 31% |
| Smokes | 8004 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 6852 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 3235 | 12% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,690,085 of utility $184 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 202 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bossa | 56% | 36 |
| #2 | Jok1 | 56% | 162 |
| #3 | Ricki | 54% | 104 |
| #4 | Blackowski | 53% | 60 |
| #5 | *BΣΛƧƬ*- Ⓐju | 53% | 147 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | B@rT | 15 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | marcoaga1n | 10 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | SeykeN | 6 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | *BΣΛƧƬ*- Ⓐju | 4 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | Blackowski | 4 | 0.0031 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | felipejudel | 951 | 0.18 | 26 min |
| #2 | marcoaga1n | 897 | 0.12 | 24 min |
| #3 | Jok1 | 736 | 0.21 | 21 min |
| #4 | SeykeN | 572 | 0.17 | 14 min |
| #5 | *BΣΛƧƬ*- Ⓐju | 379 | 0.12 | 11 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | M3G4 ハイベリャ | +2.57 | 73 | 57 |
| #2 | edd.aim | +1.80 | 77 | 74 |
| #3 | SeykeN | +1.60 | 69 | 61 |
| #4 | Blackowski | +1.19 | 54 | 61 |
| #5 | Jok1 | +1.11 | 68 | 79 |





