








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1421 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 352 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 170 matches | ||
| Faceit | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 54 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




75 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6846 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 27,541 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9885 | 36% |
| Smokes | 6094 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 5449 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 6113 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,969,100 of utility $136 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1601 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 35 BMI PEEK | 31 | 0.0071 |
| #2 | Ojhy | 15 | 0.0056 |
| #3 | NO SLEEP | 4 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | Roofied | 2 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | Phin | 2 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 35 BMI PEEK | 946 | 0.22 | 24 min |
| #2 | Ojhy | 426 | 0.16 | 10 min |
| #3 | NO SLEEP | 390 | 0.22 | 9 min |
| #4 | ✈ Badger ✈ | 190 | 0.20 | 5 min |
| #5 | Phin | 189 | 0.16 | 4 min |





