








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 554 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 234 matches | ||
| Faceit | 23 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 38 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2542 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,811 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1832 | 23% |
| Smokes | 2686 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 1650 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1643 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,639,515 of utility $246 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 220 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | amale | 64% | 33 |
| #2 | Koistee | 58% | 19 |
| #3 | AR3 | 57% | 21 |
| #4 | FraqEm | 55% | 31 |
| #5 | bradur | 54% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jazuu #isäm maa | 7 | 0.0202 |
| #2 | havokki | 4 | 0.0060 |
| #3 | jugetzu | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | Nael | 2 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | FraqEm | 2 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Julmari | 359 | 0.31 | 9 min |
| #2 | jugetzu | 327 | 0.17 | 10 min |
| #3 | amale | 144 | 0.21 | 3 min |
| #4 | No Name | 127 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #5 | Jazuu #isäm maa | 121 | 0.35 | 3 min |





