








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 847 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 109 matches | ||
| Esplay | 61 matches | 1,980 | |
| Competitive Mirage | 17 matches | ||
| Faceit | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Wingman | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 35 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3369 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,481 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4452 | 36% |
| Smokes | 2371 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 3043 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2615 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,204,461 of utility $182 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 133 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lowränk_Mjauw | 55% | 128 |
| #2 | Deccyss | 47% | 17 |
| #3 | Swiggan | 39% | 23 |
| #4 | b4ng | 33% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lowränk_Mjauw | 55% | 128 |
| #2 | Deccyss | 47% | 17 |
| #3 | Swiggan | 39% | 23 |
| #4 | b4ng | 33% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lowränk_Mjauw | 3 | 0.0012 |
| #2 | Deccyss | 2 | 0.0052 |
| #3 | b4ng | 2 | 0.0055 |
| #4 | Swiggan | 1 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lowränk_Mjauw | 177 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #2 | Deccyss | 104 | 0.27 | 3 min |
| #3 | Swiggan | 66 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #4 | b4ng | 48 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Deccyss | +3.16 | 86 | 60 |
| #2 | kalcium | +1.28 | 51 | 73 |
| #3 | Swiggan | -0.77 | 54 | 50 |
| #4 | b4ng | -1.29 | 76 | 44 |
| #5 | Lowränk_Mjauw | -2.19 | 39 | 63 |





