








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 639 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 212 matches | ||
| Faceit | 28 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 36 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2708 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,751 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 999 | 21% |
| Smokes | 838 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 1839 | 39% |
| Molotovs | 1075 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $818,967 of utility $149 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 426 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DerKopf | 53% | 53 |
| #2 | Bill LEGiT | 52% | 23 |
| #3 | Genau. | 48% | 85 |
| #4 | ✪ BleibQL | 45% | 55 |
| #5 | SPEZNA3 | 43% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Ja! | 43% | 53 |
| #7 | Malario <3 | 43% | 28 |
| #8 | Nö | XM1014 main | 42% | 45 |
| #9 | BleibtQL | 38% | 16 |
| #10 | Čavo64 | 35% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Genau. | 4 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | ✪ BleibQL | 3 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | Ja! | 2 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | DerKopf | 1 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | Čavo64 | 1 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Genau. | 207 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #2 | Ja! | 155 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #3 | DerKopf | 139 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #4 | ✪ BleibQL | 69 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #5 | Čavo64 | 39 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nö | XM1014 main | +2.50 | 86 | 71 |
| #2 | الرمادي الأبدي | +1.63 | 87 | 47 |
| #3 | Čavo64 | +0.85 | 77 | 61 |
| #4 | Malario <3 | +0.74 | 80 | 55 |
| #5 | DerKopf | +0.30 | 63 | 67 |





