








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 218 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 427 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 35 matches | ||
| Wingman | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 78 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5667 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 26,321 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8382 | 32% |
| Smokes | 5722 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 7405 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 4812 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,586,778 of utility $113 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1732 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | beef | 57% | 44 |
| #2 | Carrots | 48% | 249 |
| #3 | Oxandrolone | 48% | 189 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | beef | 57% | 44 |
| #2 | Carrots | 48% | 249 |
| #3 | Oxandrolone | 48% | 189 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Oxandrolone | 21 | 0.0054 |
| #2 | Carrots | 10 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | beef | 5 | 0.0057 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Carrots | 444 | 0.09 | 12 min |
| #2 | Oxandrolone | 344 | 0.09 | 8 min |
| #3 | beef | 43 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Flux | +1.30 | 59 | 70 |
| #2 | Carrots | +0.19 | 76 | 60 |
| #3 | beef | -0.71 | 79 | 53 |
| #4 | Oxandrolone | -0.87 | 77 | 48 |





