








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 292 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 285 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 41 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1654 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,811 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5175 | 37% |
| Smokes | 3620 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 3220 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1796 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $338,730 of utility $49 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 109 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zan | 50% | 155 |
| #2 | Daggerman | 46% | 279 |
| #3 | gnome | 45% | 316 |
| #4 | Shredder | 45% | 294 |
| #5 | Poke | 43% | 223 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zan | 50% | 155 |
| #2 | Daggerman | 46% | 279 |
| #3 | gnome | 45% | 316 |
| #4 | Shredder | 45% | 294 |
| #5 | Poke | 43% | 223 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shredder | 18 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | gnome | 13 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | Daggerman | 12 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | Poke | 9 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | Zan | 6 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gnome | 1099 | 0.17 | 24 min |
| #2 | Shredder | 321 | 0.05 | 6 min |
| #3 | Zan | 228 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #4 | Daggerman | 43 | 0.01 | 1 min |
| #5 | Poke | 32 | 0.01 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shredder | +2.19 | 61 | 46 |
| #2 | Zan | +2.07 | 60 | 64 |
| #3 | gnome | -0.36 | 33 | 51 |
| #4 | Daggerman | -0.64 | 43 | 30 |
| #5 | Poke | -0.90 | 39 | 35 |





