








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1467 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 610 matches | ||
| Premier | 169 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 252 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7221 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,186 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2656 | 13% |
| Smokes | 4966 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 8854 | 42% |
| Molotovs | 4710 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $4,182,109 of utility $225 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 529 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tuliaci tulen | 8 | 0.0008 |
| #2 | elmo! | 5 | 0.0009 |
| #3 | mentoRisen | 2 | 0.0005 |
| #4 | Not disabled anymore | 2 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | malcolm | 1 | 0.0003 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | parazit | +2.37 | 78 | 63 |
| #2 | T9FLON | +0.28 | 59 | 53 |
| #3 | malcolm | +0.13 | 83 | 54 |
| #4 | mentoRisen | +0.10 | 63 | 59 |
| #5 | elmo! | -0.03 | 57 | 41 |





