








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 136 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
635 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,630 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 241 | 9% |
| Smokes | 679 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 878 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 832 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $92,956 of utility $38 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 37 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Solar aKa Zipfel | 3 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | Ole | 3 | 0.0057 |
| #3 | Rumpelwicht | 3 | 0.0091 |
| #4 | n1ty | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | IzeCold213 | 1 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Solar aKa Zipfel | 194 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #2 | vito | 102 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #3 | IzeCold213 | 74 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #4 | Gargon | 47 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #5 | Rumpelwicht | 33 | 0.10 | 1 min |





