








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 25 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 71 matches | ||
| Premier | 10 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
849 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,286 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1103 | 34% |
| Smokes | 978 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 613 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 592 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $292,781 of utility $143 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 16 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fbjornlund | 35% | 17 |
| #2 | Effelicious | 25% | 12 |
| #3 | Gnisten^^ | 17% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fbjornlund | 35% | 17 |
| #2 | Effelicious | 25% | 12 |
| #3 | Gnisten^^ | 17% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Effelicious | 62 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| #2 | fbjornlund | 41 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #3 | Gnisten^^ | 7 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Effelicious | +1.43 | 80 | 70 |
| #2 | hj3rn3 | -0.55 | 65 | 68 |
| #3 | Gnisten^^ | -1.10 | 37 | 62 |
| #4 | fbjornlund | -1.58 | 72 | 63 |





