








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1089 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 255 matches | ||
| Wingman | 78 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 32 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5029 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,555 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2216 | 26% |
| Smokes | 1732 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 2900 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 1707 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,665,625 of utility $169 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 511 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | FlyingZorrox | 50% | 26 |
| #5 | heaton | 48% | 31 |
| #6 | beanz on ur mums feet | 43% | 44 |
| #7 | C60 fan x | 43% | 56 |
| #8 | - 𝒮𝓉𝑒𝓋𝒾𝑒 - | 41% | 54 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | beanz on ur mums feet | 5 | 0.0059 |
| #2 | heaton | 4 | 0.0061 |
| #3 | C60 fan x | 3 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | Halumir | 2 | 0.0031 |
| #5 | FlyingZorrox | 1 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | C60 fan x | 153 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #2 | beanz on ur mums feet | 138 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #3 | Halumir | 114 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #4 | - 𝒮𝓉𝑒𝓋𝒾𝑒 - | 79 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #5 | heaton | 70 | 0.11 | 2 min |





