








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 56 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 127 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
846 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,942 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 847 | 17% |
| Smokes | 1519 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 1434 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1142 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $372,765 of utility $112 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 11 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bordie | 46% | 157 |
| #2 | dazvid | 40% | 10 |
| #3 | LdFifty | 39% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bordie | 46% | 157 |
| #2 | dazvid | 40% | 10 |
| #3 | LdFifty | 39% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bordie | 4 | 0.0012 |
| #2 | LdFifty | 1 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bordie | 205 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #2 | LdFifty | 61 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #3 | dazvid | 30 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bordie | +3.08 | 74 | 69 |
| #2 | dazvid | +1.37 | 60 | 59 |
| #3 | LdFifty | +0.04 | 74 | 62 |
| #4 | rich | -3.75 | 28 | 55 |





