








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1395 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 297 matches | ||
| Faceit | 87 matches | ||
| Wingman | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 50 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4747 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,331 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6145 | 34% |
| Smokes | 3853 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 4305 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 4028 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,225,537 of utility $119 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1598 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mate | 64% | 124 |
| #2 | Bucko | 57% | 141 |
| #3 | H ♡ | 57% | 30 |
| #4 | Irukandji | 53% | 171 |
| #5 | Skit ❹ | 50% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mate | 64% | 124 |
| #2 | Bucko | 57% | 141 |
| #3 | H ♡ | 57% | 30 |
| #4 | Irukandji | 53% | 171 |
| #5 | Skit ❹ | 50% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mate | 17 | 0.0071 |
| #2 | Bucko | 15 | 0.0051 |
| #3 | Irukandji | 8 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | Skit ❹ | 2 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Irukandji | 802 | 0.22 | 20 min |
| #2 | Bucko | 271 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #3 | Skit ❹ | 237 | 0.35 | 7 min |
| #4 | Mate | 162 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #5 | H ♡ | 16 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Skit ❹ | +2.60 | 55 | 82 |
| #2 | Bazzmeister | +1.93 | 72 | 66 |
| #3 | Mate | +1.19 | 69 | 48 |
| #4 | Irukandji | +0.68 | 75 | 64 |
| #5 | Bucko | -0.87 | 67 | 45 |





