










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 6 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 245 matches | ||
| Faceit | 80 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 37 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




71 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3651 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,198 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3362 | 21% |
| Smokes | 4650 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 4728 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 3458 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $583,308 of utility $70 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1596 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jesterhead | 59% | 95 |
| #2 | Professor Pardal | 58% | 53 |
| #3 | DrN** | 51% | 53 |
| #4 | ‘BernZ’ | 50% | 20 |
| #5 | el choucha goat | 49% | 142 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gladiuz | 616 | 0.13 | 18 min |
| #2 | dse | 512 | 0.21 | 13 min |
| #3 | el choucha goat | 230 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #4 | Professor Pardal | 160 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #5 | DrN** | 145 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DrN** | +1.87 | 67 | 69 |
| #2 | Professor Pardal | +1.68 | 66 | 71 |
| #3 | nato | +1.55 | 70 | 73 |
| #4 | JANS_- STEVEN SINGLE | +1.00 | 69 | 59 |
| #5 | gladiuz | +0.65 | 63 | 69 |





