








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1929 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 610 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 178 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 128 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 72 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 165 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




116 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
12283 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 40,532 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 12072 | 30% |
| Smokes | 12036 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 10127 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 6297 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $4,530,455 of utility $171 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2707 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Save | 61% | 76 |
| #2 | Gritzi | 57% | 159 |
| #3 | HinchleYY ツ | 54% | 181 |
| #4 | ItsFilko | 53% | 273 |
| #5 | Kevin Malone | 46% | 110 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | ItsFilko | 53% | 273 |
| #5 | Kevin Malone | 46% | 110 |
| #6 | D | 46% | 80 |
| #7 | Lark2002 | 43% | 67 |
| #8 | Granny Fucker | 40% | 100 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ItsFilko | 25 | 0.0045 |
| #2 | Kevin Malone | 10 | 0.0045 |
| #3 | HinchleYY ツ | 8 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | Granny Fucker | 6 | 0.0030 |
| #5 | Gritzi | 5 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ItsFilko | 587 | 0.10 | 15 min |
| #2 | HinchleYY ツ | 284 | 0.08 | 7 min |
| #3 | Save | 273 | 0.18 | 7 min |
| #4 | D | 222 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #5 | Gritzi | 196 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ItsFilko | +2.50 | 75 | 68 |
| #2 | Save | +1.61 | 78 | 67 |
| #3 | HinchleYY ツ | +1.31 | 68 | 67 |
| #4 | CH3D3R | +1.17 | 79 | 66 |
| #5 | Kevin Malone | -1.68 | 64 | 53 |





