








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 70 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 75 matches | ||
| Wingman | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Faceit | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1822 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,232 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3440 | 31% |
| Smokes | 3088 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2059 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 2645 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $321,970 of utility $67 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 89 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CheeseZx | +6.42 | 87 | 74 |
| #2 | qlud | +1.87 | 74 | 69 |
| #3 | saX^ | +0.64 | 80 | 65 |
| #4 | Noicyz! | +0.60 | 88 | 55 |
| #5 | Average Hoe OwO | -1.03 | 71 | 60 |





