








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1445 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 439 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 294 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 268 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 91 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 79 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 261 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




56 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
11701 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 50,894 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 11695 | 23% |
| Smokes | 15591 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 13857 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 9751 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,904,149 of utility $112 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 122 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bicepseroni | 55% | 319 |
| #2 | Quuks | 54% | 76 |
| #3 | Shhhh | 49% | 171 |
| #4 | ProMille 2.0❤ | 47% | 1096 |
| #5 | Flaks | 46% | 178 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ProMille 2.0❤ | 40 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | Bicepseroni | 29 | 0.0045 |
| #3 | Flaks | 7 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | Shhhh | 2 | 0.0006 |
| #5 | Quuks | 2 | 0.0013 |





