








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 160 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Esplay | 1 match | 1,743 | |
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
872 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,455 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 839 | 34% |
| Smokes | 661 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 511 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 444 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $228,056 of utility $174 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 87 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | BA$$€ | 53% | 15 |
| #9 | tpax | 50% | 4 |
| #10 | pimpim | 50% | 6 |
| #11 | Vem annars^^ | 47% | 17 |
| #12 | Juan Solo Deag | 38% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vem annars^^ | 1 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | BA$$€ | 1 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | Damn* | 1 | 0.0055 |
| #4 | MulF ツ | 1 | 0.0072 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Juan Solo Deag | 27 | 0.17 | 0 min |
| #2 | pimpim | 25 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| #3 | BA$$€ | 22 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #4 | PaggePistol | 17 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| #5 | Damn* | 13 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rʌzz | +5.95 | 84 | 64 |
| #2 | pimpim | +3.34 | 91 | 72 |
| #3 | Damn* | +3.04 | 41 | 72 |
| #4 | tpax | +2.03 | 48 | 71 |
| #5 | ✪ joakeam | +1.44 | 57 | 60 |





