








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 378 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 306 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 40 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2827 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,075 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2187 | 18% |
| Smokes | 3087 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 3985 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 2816 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $940,120 of utility $126 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 142 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Aldréen | 64% | 22 |
| #2 | [NAJTSNCK]sᴀᴍᴜᴇʟツ | 52% | 213 |
| #3 | [NAJTSNACK]STABBE | 50% | 242 |
| #4 | dxss | 50% | 228 |
| #5 | [NS]Donkey_Bonk | 45% | 141 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | [NAJTSNACK]STABBE | 50% | 242 |
| #4 | dxss | 50% | 228 |
| #5 | [NS]Donkey_Bonk | 45% | 141 |
| #6 | [NAJTSNCK]norlight | 43% | 60 |
| #7 | [NS]Ludde57 | 39% | 67 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dxss | 9 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | [NAJTSNACK]STABBE | 6 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | [NAJTSNCK]sᴀᴍᴜᴇʟツ | 6 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | [NS]Donkey_Bonk | 5 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | [NAJTSNCK]norlight | 2 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [NAJTSNCK]sᴀᴍᴜᴇʟツ | 920 | 0.21 | 30 min |
| #2 | dxss | 498 | 0.10 | 15 min |
| #3 | [NAJTSNACK]STABBE | 469 | 0.09 | 15 min |
| #4 | [NS]Donkey_Bonk | 298 | 0.10 | 9 min |
| #5 | [NAJTSNCK]norlight | 135 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [NAJTSNCK]sᴀᴍᴜᴇʟツ | +3.55 | 68 | 78 |
| #2 | dxss | +0.23 | 31 | 65 |
| #3 | [NAJTSNCK]norlight | -0.01 | 52 | 59 |
| #4 | Aldréen | -0.28 | 44 | 44 |
| #5 | [NAJTSNACK]STABBE | -0.40 | 35 | 60 |





