








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1747 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 482 matches | ||
| Faceit | 377 matches | ||
| Premier | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 92 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




35 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
10187 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 45,549 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 16832 | 37% |
| Smokes | 15962 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 3950 | 9% |
| Molotovs | 8805 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,461,883 of utility $75 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 753 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FritZ | 55% | 126 |
| #2 | KiraZ | 51% | 148 |
| #3 | MAS | 51% | 226 |
| #4 | Dqmdi | 50% | 202 |
| #5 | SexyGamers. aDnLz | 50% | 230 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FritZ | 55% | 126 |
| #2 | KiraZ | 51% | 148 |
| #3 | MAS | 51% | 226 |
| #4 | Dqmdi | 50% | 202 |
| #5 | SexyGamers. aDnLz | 50% | 230 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MAS | 2 | 0.0004 |
| #2 | SexyGamers. aDnLz | 1 | 0.0002 |
| #3 | Dqmdi | 1 | 0.0002 |
| #4 | KiraZ | 1 | 0.0003 |
| #5 | FritZ | 1 | 0.0004 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KiraZ | 757 | 0.22 | 20 min |
| #2 | SexyGamers. aDnLz | 751 | 0.15 | 16 min |
| #3 | Dqmdi | 562 | 0.12 | 13 min |
| #4 | MAS | 549 | 0.11 | 13 min |
| #5 | FritZ | 441 | 0.16 | 9 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KiraZ | +2.29 | 87 | 74 |
| #2 | wTfLo?! 🟦⬜️🟥 | +0.92 | 75 | 76 |
| #3 | FritZ | +0.41 | 72 | 73 |
| #4 | SexyGamers. aDnLz | +0.24 | 71 | 64 |
| #5 | MAS | -0.34 | 60 | 65 |





