








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 347 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 134 matches | ||
| Wingman | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Esplay | 2 matches | 1,867 | |
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 56 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1860 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,730 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1443 | 21% |
| Smokes | 1728 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2101 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 1458 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $774,567 of utility $184 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 529 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -lelle | 60% | 81 |
| #2 | glennstefani | 60% | 35 |
| #3 | GUD | 57% | 72 |
| #4 | Nikztah | 54% | 120 |
| #5 | Listen to Joe Hart | 50% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -lelle | 8 | 0.0048 |
| #2 | GUD | 5 | 0.0036 |
| #3 | Nikztah | 3 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | glennstefani | 2 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -lelle | 415 | 0.25 | 13 min |
| #2 | Nikztah | 299 | 0.13 | 9 min |
| #3 | glennstefani | 108 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #4 | GUD | 100 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #5 | Listen to Joe Hart | 11 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | glennstefani | +3.28 | 83 | 70 |
| #2 | GUD | +2.47 | 81 | 61 |
| #3 | -lelle | +0.62 | 70 | 77 |
| #4 | blybosse | +0.00 | 67 | 64 |
| #5 | Listen to Joe Hart | -0.30 | 75 | 63 |





