








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 8 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 115 matches | ||
| Wingman | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




30 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1443 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,389 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2984 | 32% |
| Smokes | 2461 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2497 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1447 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $110,779 of utility $29 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 50 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | padtole | 50% | 12 |
| #2 | dim | 47% | 15 |
| #3 | Crazy Craig | 43% | 97 |
| #4 | Rizzle | 41% | 63 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | padtole | 50% | 12 |
| #2 | dim | 47% | 15 |
| #3 | Crazy Craig | 43% | 97 |
| #4 | Rizzle | 41% | 63 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Crazy Craig | 39 | 0.0201 |
| #2 | Rizzle | 19 | 0.0144 |
| #3 | dim | 3 | 0.0096 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Crazy Craig | 237 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #2 | Rizzle | 102 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #3 | dim | 20 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #4 | padtole | 13 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dim | +5.58 | 91 | 52 |
| #2 | Rizzle | +2.85 | 73 | 56 |
| #3 | Crazy Craig | +0.76 | 81 | 53 |
| #4 | Njoy | -1.47 | 47 | 73 |
| #5 | padtole | -2.74 | 56 | 54 |





