








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 873 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 437 matches | ||
| Wingman | 72 matches | ||
| Faceit | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 93 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




43 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5487 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,003 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4468 | 25% |
| Smokes | 5096 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2513 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 5926 | 33% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,463,251 of utility $195 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 380 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Nemo | 51% | 325 |
| #8 | PasseFrasse | 47% | 186 |
| #9 | iznougoud | 47% | 135 |
| #10 | MVRT1NS | 44% | 34 |
| #11 | 76561198030307988 | 36% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PasseFrasse | 41 | 0.0109 |
| #2 | Nemo | 27 | 0.0042 |
| #3 | iznougoud | 20 | 0.0073 |
| #4 | pajazn | 14 | 0.0045 |
| #5 | Pippis Pappa Petter | 11 | 0.0042 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nemo | 1404 | 0.22 | 36 min |
| #2 | iznougoud | 518 | 0.19 | 12 min |
| #3 | pajazn | 475 | 0.15 | 12 min |
| #4 | Pippis Pappa Petter | 290 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| #5 | PasseFrasse | 176 | 0.05 | 5 min |





