








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 843 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 283 matches | ||
| Faceit | 33 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4007 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,920 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2166 | 18% |
| Smokes | 3220 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 3850 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 2684 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,816,302 of utility $214 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 555 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Smokey | 52% | 31 |
| #2 | Quppa | | 51% | 230 |
| #3 | jokkeri1 | 49% | 84 |
| #4 | Niheko | 47% | 180 |
| #5 | kopo | 47% | 109 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | aimlock pablo | 43% | 23 |
| #10 | Yuna | 43% | 98 |
| #11 | huoleton koiramummi | 39% | 28 |
| #12 | V1P1 | 37% | 54 |
| #13 | スブラ | 32% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Quppa | | 11 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | Niheko | 5 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | Yuna | 3 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | スブラ | 3 | 0.0055 |
| #5 | kopo | 2 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kopo | 453 | 0.20 | 15 min |
| #2 | Quppa | | 258 | 0.05 | 8 min |
| #3 | Yuna | 215 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #4 | abe5u^ | 155 | 0.27 | 4 min |
| #5 | Kiero Kettu♥ | 149 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | スブラ | +2.29 | 87 | 51 |
| #2 | Quppa | | +1.84 | 73 | 57 |
| #3 | Smokey | +1.63 | 86 | 64 |
| #4 | BoomeR | +1.54 | 63 | 58 |
| #5 | abe5u^ | +1.41 | 56 | 68 |





